Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Marriage advice

So I'm thinking of doing a series on Marriage sometime in the near future at Hub City. I've got a lot of ideas. There's so much to say, but I learned a few things way back in the day (and had it modeled by my parents) that I think lay the foundation of having a marraige that goes the distance.

First, marriage isn't a 50/50 relationship. You know what I'm talking about... where one person gives 50% and waits for the other person to meet them halfway. Marriage is 100/100. Each person should give 100%. There are days when you can only give 65%. Other days your spouse might only be able to give 5%. What happens if the spouse is in one of those down times and you've got the attitude that "I'm only going 50%." It's not going to be good, that's for sure. I could say more about this but you'll have to wait for the series. Just know that both partners need to give 100%. Are you giving 100%?

Second, this flows from the first, but selfishness and self-centeredness kill marriages. Need I say more? We need to think first of the other person, the others' needs, the others' desires. To quote Veggietales, "Being selfish doesn't pay." Included in this is submitting to one another. When's the last time you submitted to your spouse? And don't give me that "wives are supposed to submit to their husband" crap, either. Read the whole passage. The first thing it says is that we are to submit to one another. Do you submit? Are you selfish? How would your spouse answer that question?

Third, here's the biggie. This is the number one thing I see missing when I look at married couples. Respect one another. Seriously, respect your spouse. In the way you talk with them, in the way you talk about them, in the way you treat them when they're around, in the way you treat them when they're not around... respect your spouse.

And here's the deal, it needs to start with the husband. Dude, man up. Give 100% to and for your wife. Be selfless. Respect your wife.

Hey, I may have found a series outline just by typing this out! And singles, this is so, so, so, so important for you because you need to know this stuff before you get married, then you won't have to play catch-up. You'll be a better husband/wife... because the more you know....


At 10:31 PM, August 12, 2009 , Blogger brYan said...

Bring it on!

At 6:15 AM, August 13, 2009 , Blogger Jaimee Holmes said...

I think that is a wonderful idea. I agree with everything you said here and would love to hear more.

I think the hardest thing many of us will ever do (humanly speaking) is to submit to another person... and that is so key to pretty much all our relationships... our marriage, friendships, church, government even...

To cause ourself to be accountable to another person is the "our part" of the deal that is way harder than it looks.

I'm glad you mentioned that submission and respect are a two way street. I think that would be really hard for alot of men to hear. I think alot of women do the submitting and don't receive the respect which should naturally follow, just because... I dunno... the world is so screwed up I guess.

Anyway. Sounds like a great series. I think it would be great for some of our young people who are in the dating stage of relationship as well.

Hurry up! LoL


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