Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Believing the Best


I am reading a fantastic little book called The Surprising Secrets of highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn. I’ll review the entire book when I finish, but yesterday, one of the secrets I was introduced to was: When highly happy spouses are legitimately hurt, they refuse to believe that their mate intended to hurt them, and they look for the most generous explanation instead.

In other words, they always believe the best about the other person. They don’t feel like the other person is out to get them, even if they are arguing or disagreeing or if one person has done something to hurt the other person.

This is a profound idea that has ramifications, not only for our marriages, but for all of our relationships.

How often, when someone upsets us or makes us mad, do we assume the worst? Almost all the time!

But what if, instead of assuming the worst, what if we were to believe the best? What if we were to believe that the other person isn’t trying to ruin our lives and hut us?

Wouldn’t that change everything? I think this idea could transform all of our conflict, at work, at home, at church, on the highway.

So consider this a challenge. Believe the best about people. In all probability they aren’t out to get you. Make the choice to assume the best and come up with a generous explanation instead of a negative one.

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