It's a biggie

If you could do one thing to improve your relationships, would you do it? Most of us would say yes.


Well, here it is. The one thing that you could do that would improve all of your relationships is (drum roll please)...


Make it a habit to offer forgiveness.


Unforgiveness and bitterness are relationship killers. They hurt all of our relationships, even those relationships with people we're not bitter towards.


That's why we need to make forgiveness a habit.


Doing this one thing will dramatically improve every relationship you have.


Try it. I dare you.

I am a Follower - A Review

I think the best description that I can give of Leonard Sweet's book, I am a Follower, is that it is the anti-leadership leadership book. That might not make sense. But it will if you read this book. Which you should do, especially if you are a Christian in any type of leadership.


Sweet brings us back to the most important thing. It's the thing that we forget all the time. We are followers of Jesus first and foremost. And following Jesus changes how we lead. If it's not changing how we lead then we're leaders first and followers second, and this is not how we, as Jesus followers, are supposed to lead.


There are so many good nuggets in this book. I have it highlighted throughout. But I have to share a quote of Bob Roberts that he shares: In America we don't plant churches, we plant worship services. This hit me big time.


There's stuff in there that will hit you too. This book will change how you think of leadership. It will change how you follow the one who has called you to follow him.

Nathan's Lorax Ad

Protect your Children's minds

Protect Your Children's Minds by Rick Warren

"While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power of your name … I protected them ..." (John 17:12 TEV) The mark of a spiritual leader is protection, so parents should protect the spiritual growth of their children. Jesus said, "While I was with them I kept them safe by the power of your name … I protected them" (John 17:12 TEV). Jesus guarded the disciples' spiritual growth by protecting their minds. As a parent, it is your job to protect your children's innocence. This is a huge task in the culture we live in today. Children are not mini-adults, and we need to protect the innocence of our children as they're growing up. They cannot handle things like violence or sex. These things are heavy subjects for a little mind.  When our three kids were growing up, Kay and I were very strict with what movies they could see, what TV programs they could watch, and what books and magazines they could read. We got all kinds of grief from our kids for it. When they were little and could only see a G-rated movie, they would say, "We want to go see this PG movie!" When they got a little bit older, they would say, "We want to go see this PG-13 movie!" We'd say, "You can when you're older, but right now you're not going to see it." And they ruthlessly criticized: "Dad! Mom! You guys are so narrow-minded! You're the only parents in the entire universe who are not letting their kids see this movie!" It is amazing to me how Christian parents let their kids, even teenagers, see all kinds of things they have no business seeing. We should care about their minds. My three kids have grown up and they are happy, well-adjusted kids. Why? Because when they were growing up, their minds weren't filled with garbage and vulgarities. Your children will be exposed to that soon enough in life. They don't need it at a young age. You have to protect what goes into their mind. Talk About It -- Think of the last movie you told your kids they could watch. Would you still let them see it in light of what you've read here? How are you encouraging your children to fill their minds with positive, life-giving, and instructional information and images? Are you more concerned with how your kids view you or with your responsibility as a parent to guard their minds?

Spread the Word

How to teach your kids God's commandments

Yesterday I posted a devotion from Rick Warren that had to do with raising kids. It came from a series of devotions that he's doing right now on Parenting. They are all good. You should subscribe.


But my friend Joy responded with the following comment and question: Thanks for posting this Jonathan! I've been focusing my morning devotions around motherhood/parenting lately. Have you thought about doing a follow-up blog on how you teach your kids God's commandments? I know that Kyra is only 2 - but I need to keep this stuff in mind for the coming years :) Maybe it's a tough topic for me because I don't understand how to explain how the "law" fits in with God's grace half the time 


That is such a great question. I don't have a perfect formula, but here's what we do.


It starts with the example we set as parents. Following Jesus is more caught than taught. That's true in all relationships, but amplified exponentially in the parent/child relationship. Your kids need to see you following Jesus. They need to see you reading your Bible. They need to see you making wise choices that flow out of what the Bible teaches. They need to see you tithe. They need to see you pray. They need to see your faith.


But I don't think that's all they need. They need for you to talk with them. This is what Duet. 6:1-9 teaches. And if you are following Jesus it shouldn't be weird or awkward to talk about it because it is flowing out of who you are.


Next, I think we need to read and re-read Bible stories to our kids. I want my kids to know stories from the Bible. And it can start early. Make a regular part of your nightly bed-time ritual reading Bible stories. There are all kinds of great "Kid story Bibles" that you can use. Read through them. Let the children pick. You pick. This will come in handy later in life, but get the stories stuck in their head at a young age.


When your kids can read have them start reading the Bible on their own. And then ask them what they read, what they learned, what they should do about it. 


I'll be honest, we could be more consistent with this, but I think if we're doing things from the past two paragraphs 3-5 times a week we're doing good. We're helping our kids develop the habits of hearing from God.


I listen to a ton of sermons. And sometimes I let Nathan and Matthew listen with me. And then we talk about it. I did this a few months ago with a sermon about the Historical Accuracy of the Bible with Nathan. We had a great discussion and he loved it.


Sometimes, many times, we need to tell our kids: God says this. God says we need to do this/act this way/stop doing this/etc. But too often we don't tell them why. I think the most important thing in teaching our children the commands of God is to give them the why behind the command. There is always a why. If we leave that out we'll create legalists. If we include that we'll see the grace.


So, Joy, did I answer your question? 

Great advice for parents

Correct Your Children Without Condemning Them by Rick Warren

"Correct your children while there is still hope; do not let them destroy themselves." (Proverbs 19:18 NCV) We all need correction at times, because no one is perfect. If I don't discipline my kids, it means two things: I'm willing to participate in their destruction. Proverbs 19:18 says, "Correct your children while there is still hope; do not let them destroy themselves" (NCV). If I don't take the time to correct my kids and teach them new habits and the right way to behave and think, I'm actually setting them up to fail and be destroyed. Even worse, refusing to take the time to discipline our children is evidence of a lack of love in our heart. We don't think of it that way. Sometimes we're just too tired to fight another battle. But that reveals that we're putting our needs ahead of our child's needs. We need to take the time to discipline our kids. How can we correct them in a way without condemning them? Don't correct in anger. Ephesians 6:4 says, "Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with loving discipline, with suggestions and godly advice" (LB). When I'm frustrated and angry with my kids, it feels good to let out that frustration; that release is an instant solution. But it does nothing for the long-term problem, and it strains the relationship between my kids and me. Instead of disciplining in anger, back away, calm down, get yourself under control, then come back and deal with the problem. Watch your words. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that built up" (GN). Harmful words create hurtful memories. Those words that are spoken in anger and belittle our weaknesses and our faults and our failings are like knives in the heart. You don't want to leave harmful words in your family's memories. Instead, choose your words carefully, and speak in love. A Parent's Prayer Make this your prayer today and every day: "I will try to walk a blameless path, but how I need Your help especially in my own home, where I long to act as I should" (Psalm 101:2 LB).

For Parents

Below is an outline that I've used for years in praying for my kids. It was a good reminder to me. May it help you as well.

Prepare Your Children for Life by Rick Warren

"And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." (Luke 2:52 NIV) The Bible says that one of the goals for parenting is to prepare your kids for life. God intends the family to be a learning center for life. You learn things in your family that you don't learn anywhere else. I remember when my youngest taught me how to burp and sneeze at the same time — a very cool thing! I don't know if I'll ever use it anywhere, but it's a great spiritual experience to be able to do that. You learn life's basic skills in the family, like how to walk, talk, eat, and use a TV remote. God says we are to prepare our kids for life.  The Bible says this about Jesus in Luke 2:52: "Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (NIV). This verse says there are four ways Jesus grew, and these are the same four ways you, as a parent, have to help your children grow.  The Bible says: Jesus grew in wisdom — that's mental or intellectual growth. Jesus grew in stature — that's physical growth. Jesus grew in favor with God — that's spiritual growth. Jesus grew in favor with men — that's social growth. Those should be the goals you have in your family for each of your children, which focus on balanced growth: mental, physical, spiritual, and social. The Bible is very clear that the primary responsibility of raising children and helping them be prepared for life belongs to the parents. The moment you took part in a conception you got a job description; raising your children well is your responsibility. Help your children grow strong mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Talk About It Part of your job description is described in Deuteronomy 6:7: "Repeat [these commandments] again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." How do you teach your children the commandments of God? What new things might you try? Deuteronomy 6:7 implies 24/7 instruction. What ways can you incorporate teaching your children into your daily routine?

Missed

I've been wondering lately how often I miss the present because I'm so focused on what's next. I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to live in the future. But when I do that I miss out on the present.


God made me to live in the present. If I'm living in the future then I'll miss what he has for me today.


I guess what got me thinking about this is the death of a friend. I didn't even know he was sick, but I found out via Facebook that he died on Tuesday. 


It got me thinking that I don't want to get to that day and realize I missed all the days leading up to it. I don't want to miss out on my kids, my wife or all that's going on around me. 


In fact, I think if we all started living this way we might actually do a better job of being who God wants us to be right now and doing what it is that he wants us to do. It makes me think of Ephesians 3:10.


Live in today. That's what I'm trying to do, at least until my mind, once again, wanders to the future.

Herald Journal article

Here's my article that was in today's Herald-Journal. And this could be my plea for an exterminator as well.

How I handle depression

Do you struggle with depression?

I do. I feel like my life is a roller-coaster of emotions. I'm a Katy Perry song. I get down. Then I'm up. Then I'm down again.

You probably experience the same thing, so I thought I'd share what I do that helps me crawl out of my depression. I hope it helps you. Here's what I do:

I say out-loud every Bible verse that I have memorized. And if I'm still down then I do it again.

Now, if I'm really depressed I usually put this off. But it's not until I discipline my mind to do this, quote Bible verses out loud, that I'm able to stabilize my emotions. And it works.

I think it works for a number of reasons:

• God's Word is living and active.
• Our emotions follow our thoughts, so that when we change what we are thinking about our emotions follow.
• Quoting Bible verses out-loud is a way to invite Jesus into our situation.

I hope this helps you. It helps me and I didn't want to keep it to myself.

I'm depressed

So I came up with something to write about. I'm depressed.

Last night we had a bit of frost and it looks like most of the plants I planted in my garden have been severely handicapped and quite possibly ruined. I even did my part and covered them in a blanket. But did it help? No.

I know, they are just baby plants. I can replace them. But it was like mother-nature slapped me across the face and walked away laughing.

I'm not laughing. I'm mourning. (Yes, I believe I do have issues and may need to go back to a counselor).

OK, I feel better getting that out of my system.

Blocked

I don't know what the deal is, but I've been having a sort-of writers block since I got back from Haiti. I don't have anything worthwhile to say. Or maybe I'm not taking the time to come up with anything worthwhile to say.

Maybe I should just do what "writers" always recommend and just write something. That's what I'm doing now. And I would love some help.

I have to write an article for the paper next week. I'm open to suggestions/ideas. I may not use your idea, but it might spark another idea and my head and help me crawl out of this writers block.

Thanks for playing along.

Faith of a little child

Jesus was known to say multiple times throughout his ministry to let the little children come to him. Jesus has a special place in his heart for kids. I think that's why he said that we need to have the faith of a little child.


What's so incredible to me about a child's faith is their simple and innocent obedience and trust. 


Levi showed that yesterday by choosing, on his own, because God said to, to be baptized. It was a cool moment for me as his dad. It was a great example of childlike faith and obedience for all of us at Hub City. 


Thanks to Brett for filming it for us to remember.

Good Friday

What are you going to be thinking about today? I pray that at some point today you take some time to think about and reflect on what Jesus went through on Good Friday almost 2000 years ago. He was beaten, bruised, ridiculed and crucified to pay the price for your sin and mine. He willingly allowed himself to be brutally executed so that the sin barrier that existed between us and God could be forever destroyed. I think it would be good to spend some time meditating on that today.

Here are some passages that you can read to focus your heart and mind on Jesus' sacrifice:

• Matthew 27
• Mark 15
• Luke 23
• John 19

Someone needs this today

I know I needed to be reminded of this today. I think some of you need this too:

The Definition of Joy by Kay Warren

“We're depending on God; he's everything we need. What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got — that's what we're depending on.” (Psalm 33:20-22 MSG) This devotional is based on Kay Warren’s new book, “Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn’t Enough.” Finding joy is a challenge for me. I’m not naturally an upbeat person; I’m more of a melancholy. When I talk about joy, I’m not doing so from the perspective of a generally peppy person who never has a bad day. In fact, it’s because of my own inability to live with joy that led me to explore why my experiences didn’t line up with Scripture. My problem was my definition of joy. I thought joy meant feeling good all the time. That’s impossible! Even for those who are naturally upbeat and optimistic, that’s impossible. We have to start somewhere more realistic — and close to Scripture. So here’s the definition I’ve come up with from studying Scripture: Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation. You’ll find nothing in that definition about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is fleeting and temporary. We tend to think that life comes in hills and valleys. In reality, it’s much more like train tracks. Every day of your life, wonderful, good things happen that bring pleasure and contentment and beauty to you. At the exact same time, painful things happen to you or those you love that disappoint you, hurt you, and fill you with sorrow. These two tracks — both joy and sorrow — run parallel to each other every single moment of your life. That’s why, when you’re in the midst of an amazing experience, you have a nagging realization that it’s not perfect. And while you’re experiencing something painful, there’s the glorious realization that there is still beauty and loveliness to be found. They’re inseparable. If you look down train tracks into the brightness of the horizon, the tracks become one. You can’t distinguish them as two separate tracks. That’s how it will be for us, too. One day, our parallel tracks of joy and sorrow will merge into one. The day we meet Jesus Christ in person and see the brightness of who he is, it will all come together for us. Then it will all make complete sense.

Alex's House Haiti March 2012 Video

Thanks to Frankie Creel for this.

Day 2

First, if you have a smart phone or iPad, you can get this 21 day devotion by going to Youversion and looking it up. Here's day 2:

During this fast, build an altar and lay a sacrifice on it that honors God. It will cost your convenience, your comfort, and it will also take some serious willpower and commitment. What will your sacrifice be during this fast? Make sure it's a sacrifice that will cost you something. Make your commitment in writing and share it with a friend who will hold you accountable to your commitment. Pray for God to show you what He wants you to sacrifice.

1 Chronicles 21:18-27 NLT

18 Then the angel of the LORD told Gad to instruct David to go up and build an altar to the LORD on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite. 19 So David went up to do what the LORD had commanded him through Gad. 20 Araunah, who was busy threshing wheat at the time, turned and saw the angel there. His four sons, who were with him, ran away and hid. 21When Araunah saw David approaching, he left his threshing floor and bowed before David with his face to the ground. 22David said to Araunah, “Let me buy this threshing floor from you at its full price. Then I will build an altar to the LORD there, so that he will stop the plague.” 23 “Take it, my lord the king, and use it as you wish,” Araunah said to David. “I will give the oxen for the burnt offerings, and the threshing boards for wood to build a fire on the altar, and the wheat for the grain offering. I will give it all to you.” 24 But King David replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it for the full price. I will not take what is yours and give it to the LORD. I will not present burnt offerings that have cost me nothing!” 25 So David gave Araunah 600pieces of gold in payment for the threshing floor. 26 David built an altar there to the LORD and sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings. And when David prayed, the LORD answered him by sending fire from heaven to burn up the offering on the altar. 27Then the LORD spoke to the angel, who put the sword back into its sheath.

21 days of prayer and fasting - the beginning

I'm so excited as together we begin this 21 days of prayer and fasting. I am expectant as we set aside these days leading up to Easter to seek God. Each day I will be emailing out a passage from the Bible with a short devotion.

Yesterday I read 2 Chronicle 7:14 which says, If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. I challenged you, using this verse as a guide for the next 21 days, to do the following:

• Humble yourself by getting on your knees daily before God to pray.
• Pray: Actually making time to converse with your Heavenly Father. If you don't know what to pray ask God. He'll tell you. You can also use the daily Bible reading to guide your prayer.
• Seek God's face by fasting. Fasting is when we intentionally take something our of our lives and replace it with time with God. As you crave what you would normally indulge in your hunger and focus on God grows.
• Turn from your wicked ways: Use this time to examine your heart and your life. Repent of your sin. Confess your sin. Ask God to reveal your sin to you so that you can turn away from it.

I am praying that God will use the next 21 days to do something significant and profound in your life and in our church. Here is today's reading.

Daniel 10
1 In the third year of the reign of King Cyrus of Persia,tDaniel (also known as Belteshazzar) had another vision. He understood that the vision concerned events certain to happen in the future—times of war and great hardship.

2 When this vision came to me, I, Daniel, had been in mourning for three whole weeks.

3 All that time I had eaten no rich food. No meat or wine crossed my lips, and I used no fragrant lotions until those three weeks had passed.
4 On April 23,t as I was standing on the bank of the great Tigris River,5 I looked up and saw a man dressed in linen clothing, with a belt of pure gold around his waist.

6 His body looked like a precious gem. His face flashed like lightning, and his eyes flamed like torches. His arms and feet shone like polished bronze, and his voice roared like a vast multitude of people.
7 Only I, Daniel, saw this vision. The men with me saw nothing, but they were suddenly terrified and ran away to hide.8 So I was left there all alone to see this amazing vision. My strength left me, my face grew deathly pale, and I felt very weak.

9 Then I heard the man speak, and when I heard the sound of his voice, I fainted and lay there with my face to the ground.
10 Just then a hand touched me and lifted me, still trembling, to my hands and knees.

11 And the man said to me, “Daniel, you are very precious to God, so listen carefully to what I have to say to you. Stand up, for I have been sent to you.” When he said this to me, I stood up, still trembling.
12 Then he said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer.13 But for twenty-one days the spirit princet of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels,t came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia.t

14 Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come.”
15 While he was speaking to me, I looked down at the ground, unable to say a word.16 Then the one who looked like a mant touched my lips, and I opened my mouth and began to speak. I said to the one standing in front of me, “I am filled with anguish because of the vision I have seen, my lord, and I am very weak.

17 How can someone like me, your servant, talk to you, my lord? My strength is gone, and I can hardly breathe.”
18 Then the one who looked like a man touched me again, and I felt my strength returning.

19 “Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!”
As he spoke these words to me, I suddenly felt stronger and said to him, “Please speak to me, my lord, for you have strengthened me.”
20 He replied, “Do you know why I have come? Soon I must return to fight against the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia, and after that the spirit prince of the kingdom of Greecet will come.

21 Meanwhile, I will tell you what is written in the Book of Truth. (No one helps me against these spirit princes except Michael, your spirit prince.

This passage is a source for the idea of a 21-day fast. As you set apart these three weeks to seek God, know that God has already heard your prayer. He is already at work on your behalf. What specific clarity of vision are you seeking from God during this time? Write down your prayer so you can reflect on it at the end of the 21 days. Spend time praying for God to speak to you and give you strength.

Coming home

March 16

Travel day number two.

We got to make the ride from Kalico to Port au Prince in the back of an open air truck today. Now let me tell you,this is an experience that all should try. It was made more adventurous by the flat tire we had in the middle of the trip. There were a few times along the trip when I knew my life was over and that if I had my arm sticking out I would be one arm short. I was able to take some great picks and see a lot of the countryside.

We saw slums, tent cities on the hillside, chaotic roadside markets, more goats wandering down the road and an armed dude on the back of a motorcycle taxi complete with flack jacket and shotgun. You don't see that everyday in Sparkle-City.

I know I said this in an earlier post, but the whole scene in my mind is so surreal. I've only seen pictures and videos of this kind of living. I can see why Haiti is the second poorest nation in the world. The sad part is that I'm told that what I've seen is decidedly Haitian middle class. Their middle class is poorer than our lower class. I guess it's something that you have to see to really grasp. That's why I want you all to come.

You gotta love the airport. The TSA ain't got nothin' on Haitian security. We had to go through three security checkpoints. I had the privilege of being patted down three times. I guess it's the thinking of "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."

Some final thoughts on the trip.

In my Bible reading time on Wednesday I read Matthew 9:35-38. Stop and read that. This passage came to life in a new way for me.

When God looks towards Haiti and the Haitian people he doesn't look with anger at the darkness. He looks at them with compassion, as sheep without a shepherd. I see that. They are truly sheep. We all are, but we're just more self-sufficient sheep as Americans. The whole country comes across to me as sheep without a shepherd. And coming here, we aren't the solution but we can be a part of the solution as we bring Jesus to the Haitians. The problem is that the needs are great but the workers are few. I am praying that the Lord of the harvest will call more of you into this harvest field and that over time we will see individual lives and eventually, the county of Haiti transformed.